Start of Something New
by madeleine68
Summary: Post-"Baby Killer". Alex wants to start a relationship, but she's not sure if Olivia feels the same way. Please review!


**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Everyone belongs to Dick Wolf and the powers that be.**

**This takes place after _Baby Killer_. Enjoy.**

Alex let out a deep breath as she walked into the squad room. It had been a hard day, a hard case; a hard couple cases, actually. And the fact that she had fallen head over heels for one of the detectives in her squad wasn't helping the matter. She had never believed in love at first sight until she had met Olivia. _Olivia_. Bright, strikingly attractive, bold, determined Olivia, with the eyes that seemed almost to pierce Alex's soul when she looked at them. Those dark eyes stole Alex's breath every time she did.

"Teflon!" John Munch greeted her, and Alex purposefully kept her gaze on him as she stood a little taller and held on tightly to her composure.

"I'm just glad the city isn't burning."

"You more than survived," Captain Cragen said with a smile. "You're a hero."

Alex couldn't help but glance at Olivia, and she was immediately sorry she'd looked. She felt her heartbeat quicken and her mouth go dry. The detective looked absolutely stunning, as usual. Her hair was slightly mussed, and Alex longed to run her fingers through those short brown tresses. But she reined in her body's reactions and hoped her expression didn't betray the lust she felt for the woman standing beside her.

"Congratulations," Olivia said with her signature grin that made Alex's heart skip a beat. She patted Alex on the back, and Alex inhaled deeply, trying not to let Olivia see the effect the her touch had on her.

"Thanks," she said, smiling back at Olivia and feeling a surge of electricity as their eyes met. "Actually, my boss is so happy, he said I could take Sunday off." Her attempt at a joke had the desired effect, and Olivia chuckled. _I could get used to this_, Alex thought. Olivia's laugh was music to her ears, and she wanted to hear more of it. She wanted to tell another joke, and be the one Olivia smiled for. But she was careful to keep it from showing.

"We're on our way to McMullan's," Elliot said, pulling on his coat. "How about we buy you a congratulatory drink?"

Alex glanced at Olivia, suddenly unsure. She hadn't spent much time with the enigmatic detective, other than the times Olivia had come to her office with the other detectives to ask her for a warrant. Elliot had invited her out once or twice before, but she had declined, feeling like accepting would be akin to intruding upon a private ritual. Besides, she wasn't sure how well she'd hold up if she ended up sitting beside the object of her desire for several hours. She feared the alcohol might loosen her tongue, and she needed all of her mental faculties to even put two words together when she was around Olivia.

But Olivia nodded and gave her a smile, and Alex knew she would do anything to keep it there. She couldn't say no, not when Olivia actually looked so eager for her company. "Sure," she said, letting out the breath she'd been holding and hoping Olivia couldn't hear her uneasiness in her tone.

Olivia's smile widened. "Great," she said, and Alex's heart leapt.

* * *

><p>The four detectives and Alex went across the street to the cop bar the officers often frequented, and although Alex was nervous at first, she felt the tension start to dissipate after the first cocktail. The detectives' banter was easy, and they talked about everything but work. Soon, Alex found herself joining in and making a few jokes herself.<p>

Two hours later, John and Fin had left and Elliot was getting up to go. "I promised Kathy I'd be home by eleven, and it's already a quarter to. I'll see you guys tomorrow," he said.

Olivia smiled at Alex. "You ready to call it a night?"

Alex bit her lip. She didn't want the night to end, but it was late, and they both had work in the morning. She nodded.

Olivia picked up her coat and held it for Alex, which made the attorney smile. She doubted Olivia even realized how such a gesture might appear more intimate than it was intended to be. _Or maybe it was – _Alex shook away the thought. It couldn't be.

"You want to come over to my place for a bit, keep me company?" Olivia asked, and Alex was so surprised that she nearly put the wrong arm in the sleeve of her coat.

"Sure," she said with a smile. "Any particular reason?" It wasn't that  
>Alex really cared – she was just grateful to be invited. However, she didn't want to seem too eager.<p>

Olivia shrugged. "It's been a tough case. It's been a rough couple of cases, actually." Then she smiled slightly. "And I'd like to get to know you better."

Alex's heart skipped a beat. _Olivia wanted to get to know her better_. "The feeling is certainly mutual," she said, and then blushed, not wanting to sound like a lovesick teenager. When she was around the detective, her mouth always seemed to move faster than her brain, which was no easy feat.

Olivia chuckled and put an arm on the small of Alex's back. "Come on."

They walked outside to hail a cab, and Alex couldn't get over the reaction Olivia's hand on her back was evoking from her. She knew it didn't mean anything and that Olivia was just a very physical person, but Alex loved the feeling of Olivia's hands on her, even through several layers of clothing. She tried not to imagine those hands touching her in other, more intimate ways.

* * *

><p>Olivia's apartment wasn't large, but it was cozy and tastefully furnished. Olivia took Alex's coat and hung it up, then led her to the living room and gestured for Alex to sit down on the couch. She poured Alex a glass of wine and handed it to her, and Alex took it, even though her brain was telling her that there was already too much alcohol in her system at the moment. Just being in Olivia's apartment, so close to her and yet so far emotionally, was testing her self-control, and she knew the alcohol wasn't helping.<p>

Olivia sat down across from her and held up her glass of wine. "To new friends," she said with her signature half-smile, and Alex clinked her glass against Olivia's.

"To friendship," she echoed.

They sat in silence for a couple minutes before Olivia said, "You did well today, you know. You did the right thing."

"It's all politics." Alex sighed. "I hate it."

Olivia smirked. "You?"

Alex winced, remembering her speech to the captain about reaching a broader constituency. It had all just been talk; she had wanted to impress him, and clearly it had worked. Her so-called ambitions must be all over the police department by now, and she regretted her words, fearing they might cost her the friendship of the detective sitting across form her. She cared about making a good impression upon Olivia more, and so far she seemed to be failing. Olivia was there only to help the victims, and truth be told, so was Alex. She had practiced over and over what she was going to say so that her colleagues would not suspect her real reason for coming here, so that her parents would smile and nod when she told them she was switching departments instead of questioning how such work could possibly further her career. But now, sitting across from the beautiful, courageous detective she'd fallen for at first sight, she knew that she couldn't care less about advancing her career. She just wanted to be with Olivia.

"How do you deal with it?" she asked instead. "Seeing the things you see, day in, day out . . . how do you just . . . turn it off?"

Olivia sighed. "You don't. It follows you everywhere you go. It's the little voice in the back of your head that tells you to look over your shoulder every minute or so when you're on the street, to examine every child you see for bruises . . . even to think of sex as a way to gain control. It takes its toll on you." Olivia peered closely at Alex. "Why did you want this job, then, if you hate politics so much?"

"I don't – I mean –" Alex found herself searching for the right words. She had lost herself in the detective's deep brown eyes, and she wanted to say the right thing, and for once, she wasn't sure what that right thing was. She finally decided on the truth. "To help people. It's what I've always wanted, to make a difference to people."

She blushed, realizing that her words sounded silly, juvenile, even selfish. She wasn't used to being like this, but being around Olivia always turned her brain to mush. Even when the detective came into her office with the other officers, she had to make a concerted effort not to meet Olivia's gaze, fearing that if she did she would no longer be able to string enough words together to make a coherent sentence.

Olivia nodded. "That's what I wanted, too."

"You do help people."

"I do. But for every one you save, there are five more you don't, and ten more you never hear about." Olivia gave her a sad smile. "But you know, that one we save is the one that keeps me going. And it's enough, almost."

"But you feel their pain for them."

Olivia sighed. "Yeah." She glanced at Alex's nearly empty glass of wine. "Do you want another glass?"

Alex shook her head. "I'd better get going," she said, a tinge of regret in her voice that she hoped Olivia wouldn't catch. "It's late." She gave Olivia a small smile. "Thank you for having me over. I had a nice time."

Olivia smiled back as she walked Alex to the door. "We'll have to do it again sometime." She held Alex's coat for her and Alex felt a surge of electricity as Olivia's fingers brushed across her bare wrist.

"Yeah," Alex said quietly, and then flushed again. She never used words like _yeah_. Olivia's presence always turned her into a flustered schoolgirl. The last time she'd felt like this was when she'd been twelve years old and had a crush on her English teacher.

"It was really nice spending some time with you, Alex. I mean it." Alex could hear the sincerity in Olivia's voice and it made her look away. Olivia wanted her friendship, and Alex didn't know how to tell the detective that she wanted more. She hadn't seen any signs that Olivia might be gay, other than the obvious stereotype, and she knew that she kept her own sexual orientation under wraps.

"I had a good time, too," Alex said again, and then took a deep breath. It was now or never. This was her chance, and she might not get another one. "Maybe next time I'll take you out. Maybe to dinner."

Olivia smiled. "That sounds lovely."

Alex exhaled. "How about next Friday? Mesa Grill?"

"7:00. I'll pick you up at your office."

Alex was so surprised that Olivia had accepted her offer that she barely managed a nod.

"It's a date," Olivia said. She put her hand on Alex's shoulder. "Until then?"

Alex smiled at the detective. Her heart was dancing in her chest and she hoped her voice didn't betray her excitement as she said, "Until then."

**Review if you enjoyed this!**


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